When you separate from your partner, it might be that you are keen to get into a mediation as soon as possible to try and resolve your matter. There are a number of matters that you should be aware of before committing to the mediation process. The timing of your mediation is likely to impact upon whether your mediation will be successful.
One of the biggest impacts on whether a mediation is successful is the timing of the separation and whether one party was taken by surprise as part of the separation process.
If your separation has been ongoing for some time and you have known for a while that the physical separation was imminent, then you are probably going to be more ready for a mediation immediately following your physical separation. It might be that you have been living separately but under one roof, for a time, or there has been fighting or tense moments at home and on that basis you know that the next logical step is separation.
Other times, however, one party might have decided that they no longer want to be in a relationship and this takes the other party completely by surprise. More than likely the person who has decided to end the relationship has been thinking about this for some time and has already made peace with that process and worked their way through the grief cycle associated with a separation.
The other party, however, the party who was receiving the information about separation, will likely have been completely blindsided by the request to separate and you will find that because of this, the person who has initiated the separation is further along their cycle of processing the separation and whilst they might have made peace with what is happening, the person who has received the news of separation is very early on in the grief cycle, dealing with a whole range of emotional issues.
Deciding to hold a mediation at that point in time is not likely to be successful. In those circumstances, time is the best thing you can give each other before being prepared for mediation.
Another occasion where the timing of mediation might not be appropriate, is where there are issues relating to family violence and the separation has been quite heated. This is particularly the case if there are police involved in the separation and protection orders in place.
In those circumstances it might be appropriate to let the heat of that dispute settle a little before attempting to participate in a meaningful way in negotiations about your property or parenting matter.
A mediation which is well-timed is more likely to be successful. Whilst one party may be more keen to resolve the matter than the other, it is in the interests of that first party to wait until the other party is ready, though not too long, in order to give the mediation the best chance of resolving the matter.
